Day Thirty Five,
It wasn't difficult for Buzzwordy to round up the surviving marketing folks and usher them into one of the back rooms in the company building. Everyone looked disoriented, shaken, and completely demoralized.
Buzzwordy was totally disgusted by Bif's speech - it was so inhuman and phony. He wondered how on earth did Bif get the C-level job in the first place.
"Listen up guys, we have a crisis to solve here!" yelled Xavia as he rushed into the room.
"OK, I'm just as shocked and unprepared for this as you all are! Anyway, what's done is done and there is no turning back for the folks here in this room. What Bif wants from the team is plain and simple - bring him the money! So how do we go about doing this since we have half of the people now? Does anyone have any good suggestion?" asked the irate Xavia.
"Xavia, what is Bif's plan?" interrogated Buzzwordy.
The whole room became dead quiet as Xavia approached the white board and drew a big dollar sign right in the middle of it.
"This is his plan for all of us in this room. He could care less about our strategies and there is no time for that anyway. We must work with sales to get design wins and maximize revenue immediately. His mantra is SELL, SELL, SELL!" explained Xavia excitedly.
"How Xavia? We're now confronted with two times the work and only half of the people to handle it. The math. just doesn't add up!" complained Buzzwordy while getting the rest of his team to nod their heads as well.
"Divide and conquer! Buzzwordy, I need you to form an A team after this meeting, put the plan together, and submit it to me within 48 hours. Bif wants an executable plan on his desk before he takes off for China!" commanded Xavia in an unusual stern voice.
"This is insane and unrealistic Xavia! Anyway, I'll see what can be done!" responded Buzzwordy while shaking his head.
"Remember everyone, you only have 48 hours!" screamed Xavia as he exited the room.
Buzzwordy's A team was made up of a total of 2 people, an older product marketing person named Sappy and him. Sappy was a great person to have for dicing and chopping problems and issues up into manageable chunks. Where Buzzwordy excelled would be to throw in his two cents on how to prioritize the tasks in the context of business importance.
"Sappy, I'll let you take a shot at the dismantling process within the next 24 hours. Is this OK with you?" asked Buzzwordy.
"No sweat, it shall be done!" reaffirmed Sappy.
Looks like Buzzwordy has his handful over the next few days.
See you all on Day thirty Six.
Buzzwordy
Note from Buzzwordy
If you enjoy reading the Cranium Booster - Buzzwordy tales, why not spread the words and share them with your friends and family. Everyone deserves a good laugh and so do you. Just send them this link so they can sign up for free.
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Questions
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Day Thirty Four,
It was ridiculously chaotic the moment Buzzwordy walked into the office. People were roaming around, looking dazed and confused, and whispering uncomfortably. He found Xavia standing outside his office, cross-armed, and expressionless. There were boxes everywhere and he could even hear a few people scream from time to time. The scene could easily resemble the 911 aftermath.
"You guys need to go to our general assembly room now. Bif has an important announcement to make!" exclaimed JJ, the marketing communication manager.
Xavia did not bother to respond to JJ. He gave Buzzwordy this I-cannot-do-nothing look before hastening himself over to the general assembly room.
Buzzwordy knew that something fishy was about to happen. He didn't bother to catch up with Xavia and instead, slowed his pace down so that stress won't eat him up alive like the rest of the company.
The general assembly room was packed like sardines. All the usual characters were present. Besides Bif and his management team, Buzzwordy also saw Lucifer, the HR manager, and JJ, the marketing communication manager. The crowd was exceptionally quiet and docile. Buzzwordy swore that he could almost hear a pin drops.
"Folks, thank you for coming to this important meeting. As most of you know, I have been working on re-architecting our company so that we can become competitive again. When I looked at our revenue growth for the last two years, I saw nothing but stagnation. Now with the recession looming over our heads, we must be more diligent, more passionate about our jobs, more frugal, and more caring for each other. Does anyone have any question?" announced Bif.
Buzzwordy looked around the room and saw everyone sitting snugly with full anticipation for Bif to unfold the new organization. The air was getting thicker than the ashes from Mt. St. Helen.
"Alright then! Lucifer, why don't you put up the new organization so everyone can see!" gestured Bif to the introverted and often creepy looking HR manager.
The moment of reckoning had arrived once Lucifer showed the new organizational chart. Everyone was stared intensively at the chart hoping to find a box with his or her name inside.
"Listen up folks! In order for our company to return to its glorious days, I have decided to optimize our operation by right-sizing in three key areas. I'm a firm believer that once these three areas have been addressed, our company will take off like a Russian rocket. Having said this, a large number of people in engineering, sales, and marketing have been affected immediately. Here is the breakdown - 40% in engineering, 20% in sales and 50% in marketing." delivered Bif in a stern voice.
There was an uproar in the room immediately after Bif finished his deliverance. Buzzwordy was shocked to learn that half of his marketing team had been wiped out. It was obvious that all Bif wanted to do was to increase earnings by cutting expenses deep.
"This meeting is adjourned. For those people who are affected, please stay behind and speak to Lucifer. JJ, why don't you stand by to assist as well!" yelled Bif as he made his way towards the door.
"Buzzwordy, I think you and I are saved. Please gather the rest of the marketing guys for a quick meeting. I have to speak to Bif now!" shouted Xavia.
I'll see all of you on Day Thirty Five.
Buzzwordy
Note from Buzzwordy
If you enjoy reading the Cranium Booster - Buzzwordy tales, why not spread the words and share them with your friends and family. Everyone deserves a good laugh and so do you. Just send them this link so they can sign up for free.
http://buzzwordy-craniumbooster.blogspot.com/
Questions
If you are interested in contributing to Cranium Booster-Buzzwordy, please send an email to gwu@buzzwordy.com.
Image by Avital Gertner via Flickr
